A boy belonging to a Christian family married a Hindu girl recently. His family is well-educated, well-to-do and considered to be broad-minded. It was later known that the bride-to-be had been asked to convert to Christianity before the wedding took place.
I wondered what the Reverend Father's words to the bride-to-be would have been ? "Forsake your God for ours, my child ?'
I know of instances where Hindu girls and even boys have had to convert to Christianity in order to marry someone from that religion. One Christian lady I know had the audacity to announce, "My son married a Hindu girl. We got her converted. It was no big deal." How casual can one get about something as deep-rooted as religion ?
Religion is something we begin imbibing from the moment we are born. It is something that gives us our identity, a direction and purpose in life.
Imagine asking / perusading / forcing (whichever you may choose to use) a girl or a boy to give up their identity, their prayers, their perception of themselves just because the religion they are marrying into cannot accept them for what they are. How strong a foundation is that for a relationship to grow on ?
On the positive side, I do have Hindu friends whose non-Hindu husbands have accepted them without religious prejudice. Marriages like these, by all means, are quite rare to come by. My friends are strong-willed and haven't bent under family pressure to convert. They have ensured that their right to religious freedom remains intact and their supportive husbands have stood by them right through.
Deserting religion is unacceptable and unpardonable to Christianity & Islam. Why then are they insistent that others convert when social issues like inter-religious marriages come up ?
The irony is that no one is willing to discuss issues like these in the open. Pleasantries are exchanged in public and small talk made, yet no one has the courage to take a stand. Anything unpleasant is conveniently brushed under the carpet and the smiles are out again.
I am proud to be born a Hindu and have been brought up to respect all religions & faiths. My grandmother used to say, "Live & let live and see how peaceful the world will be."
My children are at an age where they understand the underlying threat that religious intolerance has brought to their world. It upsets them. They ask me, "Is there nothing we can do to stop this ? Why do some people force others to convert ?" I can think of only one answer, "Because we let them."
This is an everyday debate at our breakfast table at work. A Hindu girl is in a relationship with a Muslim boy. She does not want to convert, but his family wants her to.
ReplyDeleteI am not deeply religious or anything. But I know I that I walked away from a relationship because I would have had to convert. It wasn't acceptable to me. It wasn't acceptable to my friend. But his family wouldn't have it any other way.
My roomie was very proud to say, "I told my husband... you have to convert, else my family will not say yes... so you decide"
Christianity, Judaism and Islam are all monotheistic which will inherently contradict if one accepts any other God(s)also. Hinduism being polythiestic can make an accomodation for one other diety without a fundamental contradiction. Looking at it from parenting standpoint few yrs down the marriage, if one parent says there is one and only one God and the other says there are multiple, you will have one heck of a confused child with a jelly like faith. So, while not condoning forced conversion, I feel it is better if both parents are in sync on something as fundamental as faith. Although, it sometimes does happen that even though both parents were in sync on faith at the time of wedding, they do diverge at some point later and that cannot be helped. I feel very strongly that you are born into a religion but not into a faith and likewise you can be forcefully converted into a religion but not into a faith.
ReplyDeleteWhat is Religion? How much control does religion have in our everyday life? Does it really govern our lives? I am not too sure I can do justice to answering any of these questions.
ReplyDeleteLet's try to understand what the basic practices prescribed in Hindu scriptures are others than prayers, meditation, cleansing, courtesy etc., to attain a superior abode. On a broader perspective, we need to admit that tolerance is one of the fundamental traits of Hinduism. Tolerance is subtly but amply described in Mahabharata as the trait of Bhishma above his other powers like valor and bravery, as also in Lord Rama. Without these two puranas how would we ever explain Hinduism to our kids or any one else? Again, tolerance is what Lord Krishna asked of Arjuna and through him to the entire mankind to stay the course of life and deal with the struggles.
If we can we can conclude that religion is a way of life, then a quick jump from the scriptures to practical life: Does forcing people account for tolerance? Asking a person to switch their religion for sake of marriage might be a definite way of fulfilling personal desire to face a not-so understanding group of companions. But definitely not the best way to express love and understanding to the kids that need us more.
Lastly, marriage is a juncture of changes on many facets in the life of a person. For women it's almost like uprooting a partly grown tree to another environment and expecting it to function and flourish. In the new milieu, the least a person would expect is to pray peacefully for strength, as he/she did the previous morning. Take away that freedom from the person, and expect them to function perfectly normal. Does this sound like fantasy or cruelty? I can't say which.